Thursday, October 31, 2019


Observation of being Natural 

  • Love-hate relationship with being natural 
  • Wrap your hair before bed 
  • Swim cap for natural hair
  • Perm - damage the hair
  • Figuring out your curl pattern helps you to know how to care for your hair better 

  • Going natural you have to eliminate chemicals and relaxers to get a heather hair 

  • Applying oil to your scalp  
  • Protective styles- braiding, twisting, wigs and  weave 

  • Natural hair can be a political and social statement, or simply loving yourself 

  • Noticed that natural hair products and supplies are owned by White and Asian store owners 
  • Preparation- the time and effort that goes into your hair 
  • Cost- very expensive 
  • The transition- of rocking different looks
  • Shrinkage  
  • Workplace -discrimination - interview 

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

A Couple of Random Images

Huge Etching Plan With Seperated Layers

Plate size 13"x18", cut into 4 (or more sections) depending on how many separate drawn layers there are in a pattern. One "layer" would be visual in each section.


New Timelapse

The first three videos are were taken at the same time and are of three different angles. The order is Left View, LeftAreal View, and Above. The 4th video is all 3 at once.

The Next three are of another piece. This one I am playing with color, and how it makes a difference. The first three videos are were taken at the same time and are of three different angles. The order is Left View, LeftAreal View, and Above. The 4th video is all 3 at once.

Thoughts & ideas from the last week

Random notes I have currently:

Pin the tail on the donkey? Pin the clitoris on the vulva.

Could I use a 'party' type installation? Fun, inviting!
Cards, party favors, bags, banners, wallpaper, confetti
tassel streamers (they're boobie tassels but like, for parties!)

'The tools of masturbation' - book
nonsexual objects that often refer to masturbation - banana, cucumber, zucchini, toothbrush, orange

And I also blew the banner up in size, it still needs a second layer in my opinion. Will update when I have it. 

Possible others? Could be celebrating something for someone else or yourself
'Anal play is okay'
'You should masturbate' / 'Have you masturbated today?' / 'You/I masturbated today'
'You/I don't have to shave that' 
'I used a condom' / 'I didn't use a condom'
'I tried anal'
'Don't forget the foreplay'
'Don't forget the lube'
'Support BDSM culture'
'I have a ______ kink'
'I am a sub / dom'
'The G spot doesn't exist' / 'Good luck finding the G spot'


The frist strip is more controlled quotes and the second strip is more random quotes.
Dose it make a difference? If so dose it give you a different feeling?

Monday, October 28, 2019

Design print/sell Website

Here is that website we talked about in class Thursday 10/24

Broke some mirrors, probably going to have bad luck. I put together this little sculpture and was focused on the word fragment during the process.

Saturday, October 26, 2019

past experiments (+ thoughts)

Randomly selected text with a randomly selected printer's cut. Fun exercise, but too much is left to chance -- it's fun to find meaning where none is "intended" but I'd like to be more deliberate with image/text choices.

From really early in the semester (I'm pretty sure this is actually some of the, if not the, first thesis-related work I made). "Hero" (from Butler and others) and "Man" (from Wilson and others), both translated from the same words. They coexist -- they come from the same source and refer to the same words and the same character, but they are fundamentally different. Mashing them together made an interesting composition as well as an interesting dissonance in meaning. I'll probably do more of these very soon, but with longer selections of text.

Other thoughts before I disappear from this blog for another two weeks:

Brian Pellinen mentioned a poem he'd seen, created using Ezra Pound's Cantos as a source, in which the poet uses only words that contain the letters E - Z - R - A - P - O - U - N - D. I can't find the poem he was referring to, and he admitted he might have some names wrong, but it's still an interesting idea.

Jesse Kahn, during my review, talked about "patchwork" text, where I'd take a selection of lines (say 24) and divide them in to 24 different translations, line by line. (Also thinking about mixing them word-by-word, which could have some interesting grammatical results?)

I'm not giving up on the idea I mentioned at some point for a survey. I'd ask people to rephrase or find a synonym/antonym for a given word, probably several translations of the same word. Maybe a positive/negative connotation slider? Wily vs. lord of lies, complicated vs. ingenious, which ones feel Good or Bad? Just thinking about the ways I could lay it out without a) having questions that are too complicated or b) having too many questions.

image & text spreads

Image source: nemfrog
Text source: Odyssey t. Wilson
Out of order, probably.

Experimenting with image/text interaction - how does having an image change the way we see the text? Is a photograph more compelling than an illustration? When dealing with "randomness", it's easy to find patterns - human brains are wired for it, I'm not the only one working with that subject. Any image can be bent to fit to a given context.

Experimenting with different ways to break up text: for another class (Approaching the Book) I took the same paragraph of prose and broke it up six different ways, according to six different rules laid out in this article by Rebecca Hazelton.  I plan to do more of this type of experiment in the near future.

Thursday, October 24, 2019

5 Steps of Process

An HONEST List of Things Personally comforting for me

My Dog Juliet (RIP A good girl)

My Grandmother (RIP)


My Cubone Pokemon Plush (purchased at my very first competitive video game tournament)

My baby blanket (Yep still got it)

Many many plushes gifted to me/bought for myself

My Partner Remy (Just being in the same room as her)

Music (from metal to rap to soft rock to plays, just not country)

My Big Heavy Weighted Blanket

Comfy Cotton Band T Shirts that I refuse to throw out (even if they no longer fit)


Thick Socks

Skinny Jeans (Looking good/feeling like I look good is just as comforting to me as soft clothing)

Singing to myself

Playing piano/Guitar alone in my room

The sound of the rain

The smell of the ocean

A night out with my family where my parents DONT drink

When my dads in a good cheery mood (a rare one indeed)

A text from my younger brother from across the room (Kids hilarious)

The couches in my parents old basement

A Sketchbook (never filled all the way)

Hearing someone else's breathing (reinforcement that I'm not alone I guess?)

Having my nails painted by Remy (preferably black)

A good god damn hug (with that perfect timing of both people silently agreeing to let go at the same time)

*Pictures because I feel the need *

Three things I've recently lost that have been incredibly comforting for me

- Soft and squishable
- Thing I would squeeze when dealing with depression/anxiety
- Gift from my wonderful Partner


Big Ditto Plush, currently missing (somehow)

Grandma Cook
- Father's mother (somehow!)
- Taught me to play card games
- Always smiling
- Would come upstairs to hug me when I was in middle school because she could hear me come home from school crying from being bullied
- Would occasionally tell my dad to fuck off when he would be an ass hole (He's her son he had to listen!)
- Talked me down from a suicide attempt when I was 13. Promised she would never tell anyone. Kept her word to the day she died
- Always gave the best god damn advice under the sun

Passed away on October 3rd 2019 at the age of 84. She died at home where she belonged, under the roof of the house her wonderful husband built her with his bare hands as a wedding gift.

Grandma Cook, The best lady


- Golden Retriever and Collie Mix (The softest fur)
- Would come plop in my lap on days I would cry when I was home alone
- Loved walks and Pizza crust
- Loved wearing bandanas but would tear out the bows we put in her ears
- Loved sitting on the couch even though mom wouldn't allow it (everyone else would when she wasn't home)
- Ate an entire chicken once (bones and all)
- Knew how to sit, lay down, speak, "leave it" and high five

Was Put down on October 16th 2019 due to cancer found in her stomach and liver. Too old to be put through chemo. Wagged her fluffy ass tail until the very end

Juliet, A Good Girl

*****End of "lost" things, even though my Grandma and Juliet will always be with me*****

- Before we dated, was the best friend I've ever had in my entire life
- Continued that streak when we began dating
- Helped me through some really rough times (and continues to do so)
- Used to bring me tea and strawberries on days I was too depressed to get out of bed
- The best smile on the planet
- Gives good hugs
- Makes me laugh a lot
- level headed, calm and confident
- Steals my hoodies (wearing one of mine below in fact)
- Gives me new sheets and pillows because I apparently "don't use enough" (she right tho, having more than 2 pillows is dope as hell) 
- Buys me CD's and plushes when I'm sad/sick
- Always ever supportive

Luckily still in my life, not sure what I'd do if she was on the list of lost things

Remy, so very wonderful

- Younger brother, currently 16 years old
- Weirdly perfect mix of my older brother (Sports, beer, all that shit) and Me (Being a fuckin video game playing nerd)
- Funny as hell
- Warmest heart on any person I've ever met
- Not a mean bone in his body
- Remy's best friend
- Kind as anything
- Always has my back (and I always have his)
- Understand's my relationship with my dad better than anyone (can't wait till he can move out/go to college)
- Always down to hang out with me, Play any game with me, watch any dumb youtube video I make him watch
- "I can't think of anyone I'd rather have to look up to" Brendan to me one time (kid making me cry)
- Honestly doesn't need to look up to me, he's already a golden boy
- Forgave me instantly even though I was really nasty to him when he and I were kids

Brendan and I have grown ever closer the last few years and I hope to continue that. Being so troubled growing up, I unintentionally took out some of my frustrations on him when we were kids. He forgave me before I even asked him for any kind of forgiveness and we've been best pals ever since. Also helps that Remy is his BEST FRIEND

Brendan, the best 16 year old boy on the planet *I will fight you on it*

Aunt Michele 
- My father's sister
- My god mother
- Same hair since the 80's
- Metal Head (convinced that's where I get it from) 
- Loves when I paint my nails
- Loves the music I listen to
- Always telling me how proud she is of me
- Always trying to buy my artwork
- Calls me frequently to check on me
- Would give anyone the shirt off her back 

My aunt was the "wild child" of my father's three sibling family. One of my best memories is her chasing a young girl we didn't know barefoot down the road. She was running away from home and my aunt was trying to convince her not to. When she found the girl had good reason she brought her into my parents house and gave her a plate of food to eat while she waited for her friend to pick her up. My aunt is a fiercely loving and accepting lady and one of my biggest heroes 

Auntie Michele, crazy dog lady

- Older cousin
- Michele's daughter
- Party animal
- Knows pretty much all of my secrets (and she's a VAULT don't even try it)
- Funny as all hell
- Always saves me last for goodbyes so she can give me the longest hug
- A sappy individual (will never admit it though) 
- A shoulder to cry on for sure
- Always up to do something crazy and out of the blue (go somewhere, make something)

Lacey is the first person who made me feel welcome within my family. We continue to share a special close bond that has brought me some of the coolest memories I have

Lacey,  a secret sap 


I could go on and on forever about reasons why I'm angry. Why I struggle with emotion, my toxic and abusive relationship with my father, 2 years in an emotionally abusive romantic relationship, all the times I was put down by my family or my peers or strangers. But what I need to do is focus on what makes me who I am. WHO made me who I am. Why comfort and love appeals to me over anger and violence. This project is about comfort and love because I decided the last two years that my life needs to start to be about comfort and love. So here are some things and faces, people and places that embody what comfort and love means to me. I also need to start to be more honest and fearless about that honesty. So I decided to write about some special people as well in regards to why they have become symbols of love and comfort for me

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

Monday, October 21, 2019

Varients with Photos

Random Number Varients

Exploring Video

Ive been exploring the video a little more and what I can do with just the stills.
Ive also been collecting Criminal Minds in order to get a theme of quotes. 

Your Hair should be " Neat "

                 Johan's First Trip to a White Barbershop - mixed-ish               

                 Bow and Johan's Hair Nightmares - mixed-ish               

                 The Johnsons Have a Frank Discussion About Hair - mixed-ish               

Black-ish spin - off Mixed-ish 
The episode, “Let Your Hair Down,” shows how ignorance Rainbow teacher Ms. Collins told her that her hair should be "neat''.

Brainstorming and prep

brainstorming new patterns

multiple camera recording station

Playing with my circle stencil as is